Don't hate me Daniel...

I know most of you have already heard this before, but as I sit here listening to my baby cry, I need to exorcise the guilt. I keep telling myself that I am doing the best thing for him by letting him scream his head off until he falls asleep, but my brain is having a hard time getting that message to my heart.

I've bitched before about Daniel's horrible sleeping. I did everything I could for him for the first six months of his life. Now, I just can't do it anymore. We never let Jake cry it out at all. But, with Jake, there was only Jake. I didn't have anyone else to look after. We worked on him gradually going to sleep on his own, but I know that won't work for Daniel. So we are letting him cry it out.

It sucks. Really sucks. I hear him crying, and I feel sick in the pit of my stomach. But he needs to sleep, and I need him to sleep. Walking him around in the sling for half an hour to have him wake up ten minutes after I put him down is not doing anything for him or for me. But man. Mother Nature needs to give me a break on the guilt.

Ahh, sweet silence again. He is getting better with it, but it's still tough. I'm sorry baby, Mommy loves you so much. How could I not, with such a sweet little face, chubby little popeye arms, and that gorgeous grin??