I am a big freakin' idiot.
Why, you ask?
*takes a deep breath, steps into the blogger confessional*
Because, after 3 1/2 years, I started smoking again. Yep, move over Costanza, a new king of idiots has arrived.
What can I say. It sucks, but damn, it's good. I'm really trying to keep it to a bare minimum, and have immediate plans to quit. But it has worked wonders on my stress level. I find I am so much more patient with Jake, and so much more patient with myself. But I just can't believe that I am right back here again. Arg.
/end confession
The kids have been wonderful lately. Daniel is just such a little sweetheart. And Jake is such a little man now. If you ask him what he wants to be when he grows up, he says "A ROCK STAR!" His Grandma taught him his phone number, and he knows how to answer the phone at work too. "Auto Value Forest Lawn, Jake speaking, should I help you?" So much a little boy. Daniel has mastered sitting, and is frustrated that he can't crawl yet. I can wait though, I like the fact that he stays where I put him.
In other news, the bank has managed to screw up all the paperwork that we just finished for the RESP. So the forty five minutes that I spent in her office wrestling Jake away from that candy bowl was a waste of time. We've decided to transfer the account to a company that actually has a clue.
Not much else is going on in this neck of the woods. Just trying to enjoy the rest of summer, and anticipate Jake's entry into preschool next month. I know he is going to have such a great time, but it's just another indicator of how much my first baby is growing up.
Some new pictures:
A water lily in the butterfly room at the zoo:
New teeth:
posted by Tracey at 12:19 PM
4 Comments:
I cannot allow this. I can't just sit back. I am gonna tell everyone on you if you don't stop. Really.
With that said, I know you can stop again. Just. Don't. Do. It.
9:19 AM
Okay so I was gonna beg you and then I remembered that hey I started puking again that time even though I knew it was wrong.
I know you have it in you to stop though and I love you so I want you to. Don't you just hate that I am only commenting on this and nothing else in the post?
10:39 AM
Gorgeous pics!
Tracey, I know that you confessed so that we would back you up when you stop again. Not if, when. Because, of course, it will be soon, right??
At least I commented on something else first!
9:40 PM
I just want to say as a former smoker (remember there isn't anything worse than a reformed anything) but I know how great it is and that is seems relaxing and helpful with stress- but it isn't- Nicotine is a stimulant the reason we feel relaxed when we smoke is because we are taking a break out of our lives and breathing in nice and deep. Go ahead and keep taking a break from your life and breathing in nice and deep just don't use the cigarette also.
I know it has been hard for you with your husband starting again. I don't know how I would handle it if Scott started again. It has been 4 years for us and every once in a while I still want one. If he was doing it it would be tough to keep quit. So I get it but don't let it have the power to say it helps you with stress. You are helping yourslef with stress- the kids are getting bigger and life just gets less stressful when your infant hits 6 months- how old is Daniel now? It isn't the cigarettes it is you. I truly believe they do nothing good for me- still do miss them some though but hopefully I won't go back. But never say never right
8:43 AM
Post a Comment
<< Home